Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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