I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
