PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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