it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
