You're completely useless in the revolution.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
