According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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