so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
