If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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