Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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