I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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