Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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