Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize