i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
