community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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