absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
