I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
