blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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