he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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