i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
