check it out our google latitudes are spooning
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
