I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
