Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize