Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
