escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
