I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
