She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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