Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Say something about gay babies.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
