it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
