my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
