I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
