I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
