Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
