do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize