on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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