ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
