i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
