just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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