i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The adults are the big ones right?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
