Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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