Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
