What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
