i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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