we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
