Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
