is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Non-Jews are for practice
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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