I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
