If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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