Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
