my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
