so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
