Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
