don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She even gives head with a lisp.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
