We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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