I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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