Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
