I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
