he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
