No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
