are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
