hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
