i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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