No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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