He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
