i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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