Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize