is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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