So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
