she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
