You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
