Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
