turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
